Numerous studies have shown that men struggle in therapy compared to women.
Why Men Suck at Therapy and What They Can Do About It
Therapy is great - for women. But for men? Not so much. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, and when it comes to processing emotions, we might as well be from different planets.
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For example, a meta-analysis by Bedi et al. (2000) found that men were less likely to self-refer to therapy, more likely to drop out prematurely, and less likely to implement therapeutic suggestions. But why?
Part of it comes down to society's expectations. Men are taught from a young age to "man up" and solve problems through action, not talk. As Pollack (1998) discusses, boys are often shamed or punished for expressing vulnerable emotions. Is it any wonder men find it difficult to open up in therapy?
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Men also communicate feelings differently than women. While women articulate emotions verbally, men express themselves through action, like fixing things or exercising (Levant et al., 2009). When forced to talk in therapy, many men freeze up or get frustrated.
Additionally, men's friendships involve seemingly negative ways of showing affection, like insults or roughhousing (Morman et al., 2013). So when a therapist doesn't insult them, it feels foreign and ineffective.
Thankfully, there are solutions. Therapists can use less open-ended questions and provide more concrete guidance aligned with masculine norms (Mahalik et al., 2012). Incorporating physical activities like Tai Chi can help men access emotions through their body (Li et al., 2001). Support groups can provide male bonding and advice from other men (Galdas et al., 2015).
Additionally, men's friendships involve seemingly negative ways of showing affection, like insults or roughhousing (Morman et al., 2013). So when a therapist doesn't insult them, it feels foreign and ineffective.
Thankfully, there are solutions. Therapists can use less open-ended questions and provide more concrete guidance aligned with masculine norms (Mahalik et al., 2012). Incorporating physical activities like Tai Chi can help men access emotions through their body (Li et al., 2001). Support groups can provide male bonding and advice from other men (Galdas et al., 2015).
So men, don't write off therapy yet.
With the right approach, it can help you access the feels and live a healthier life. We believe in you!
Alet Viegas
Collective Win, CEO
